How to Plan a Memorial Service
A memorial service can happen any time and almost anywhere. Here's how to plan one that feels personal and comforting.
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A memorial service is a gathering to honour someone who has died, held without the body present — which means it can happen any time and almost anywhere. That freedom lets you create something deeply personal. Here’s how to plan one with care. (For the wider picture, see our funeral planning checklist.)
1. Decide the feeling you want
Do you want something quiet and reflective, or a warm celebration of life? Naming the tone first makes every other choice easier — the room, the music, the dress code, even whether there’s laughter in the speeches. There is no wrong answer; there is only what fits the person.
2. Choose a place and time
A memorial service can be held in a home, garden, community hall, hotel, place of worship, or a favourite outdoor spot — the beach they walked every morning, the clubhouse, the kitchen everyone always ended up in. Because there’s no time pressure, you can wait until distant family can travel, or choose a date that already meant something, like a birthday.
3. Shape the order of the day
A simple, well-paced structure that works almost anywhere:
| Moment | Notes | |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Welcome | A celebrant, family member or friend — two minutes, warm |
| 2 | Music | Something theirs, as people settle |
| 3 | Readings or prayers | One or two — poems, scripture, a favourite passage |
| 4 | The eulogy | Or several short memories from different voices |
| 5 | Reflection | A song, slideshow, candle-lighting or quiet minute |
| 6 | Closing words | Thank people; tell them where the gathering is |
Invite a few people to speak in advance rather than asking on the day — and reassure them short is perfect. Our guides to writing a eulogy and what to say can help them.
4. Choose readings and music
For readings, look to what they loved first — a song lyric, a line from a favourite book or film — before reaching for traditional poems. For music, three songs is usually plenty: arriving, reflecting, leaving. The song that makes everyone smile through tears is nearly always the right one.
5. Add personal touches
A photo display, their favourite flowers, a memory table with treasured objects, or a guest book for stories. Many families set up a screen showing an online memorial so guests can scan a QR code, browse the photos, and add their own tribute — long after the day, those tributes become one of the most comforting things the family owns.
6. Include the people who can’t be there
Distance keeps more people from services than anything else. A simple video call propped on a stand brings far-away family into the room, and sharing the online memorial link afterwards lets them read the tributes, see the photos and add their own memory — so nobody grieves outside the circle.
7. Care for everyone afterwards
Offer food and time to talk. Grief is lonely, and a shared meal helps. For ideas on marking the months and years that follow, see meaningful ways to remember a loved one.
Last updated 6 Jul 2026
Frequently asked questions
What is the difference between a funeral and a memorial service?
A funeral usually takes place soon after the death with the body present. A memorial service is held without the body, so it can happen any time, anywhere — which makes it easier to gather everyone and personalise the day.
Related reading
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